Dot Pretty Brainy

Last week, a colleague described her 6-year-old granddaughter for me. “[S]he loves astronomy and we have a great time watching for the space shuttle and space station on clear summer nights. She wants to grow up to be a ‘Princess Cowgirl Astronaut.’” The exuberance and direction of this girl—at 6 years old—are significant because they are not uncommon.

When talking about the girls for whom we created a grand Take Our Daughters to Work Day event in Denver every year, team members with whom I volunteered regularly described girls who said they wanted to be and do multiple things with their lives — a “Singer Actress Veterinarian” or “Mother Paleontologist Gymnast Model” or “Architect Doctor Writer.” And I remember one career guest replying as she squatted on her heels to match a little girl’s height, “Honey, you just go for it. You do it all.” Importantly, it was the youngest girls who expressed the most energy and decidedness for doing a thing. The 6-, 7-, 8-, 9- and 10-year olds had bounce and spark. (The girls in their early teens already were guarded. Some were sullen. If they expressed any desire, their attitude could come forth as defensive or uncommitted. And this is old news.)

In her own story about discovering her life’s work, diva Sheila E says she knew she was going to be a percussionist at 5 years old. Her father, Latin jazz legend Pete Escovedo, had invited her on stage to perform a solo for an audience of 3,000 at the Sands Ballroom in Oakland, and, from the moment of that experience, Sheila E knew her life’s work. Among a lifetime of accomplishments in Latin, pop and rock music, Sheila E now is releasing her first Country single and video (see http://www.cmt.com/videos/sheila-e/348852/glorious-train-gone-country-3.jhtml).

Last fall, Lynne, my very best friend from first grade into adulthood, entered my name in a search engine and found me through my website. I intensely thought about our friendship all through February because, in 1973, Lynne and I represented the fifth grade class of New Haven Elementary for the school’s Presidents’ Day assembly by reciting a poem about Washington and Lincoln. I took the stanza on George. She took the lead on Abe. So diligently did we practice that, a week before the event, we both knew every word. When we practiced, we switched parts.

We also liked academics enough to devise a way to master the schoolwork on which we were tested while abiding by the teacher’s “no-talk rule.” We (quietly) asked permission to use the blackboard at the back of the class to test one another. Then we made up and wrote out test questions. We wrote the answers to what the other person had posted. We had to be quiet, and laughing hard when you have to be quiet makes you laugh harder, and we had fun learning and it was effective because we devised it ourselves. We were 10 years old, and it was the last time I would be academically confident for many years. In the history of the experience of being female on this earth, this, too, is old news. But the remarkable thing—that which unfolds for young girls every day—is that I already knew what I wanted for my life.

Based on the stories customers tell us about their lives when they purchase Pretty Brainy Ts, here is what I would remind everyone of now:

• Reconnect with the vision and sense of direction you had for yourself when you were young.
• And, as with my colleague lucky to have the Princess Cowgirl Astronaut in her life, endeavor to genuinely help your children connect with their own purpose. This may include getting out of their way so they can be.

Now That’s Pretty Brainy.